Anime vs Marvel · Superhuman
Joseph Joestar vs Gambit
The greatest trickster in JoJo meets a Cajun card shark. Somebody is going to get out-cheated.
Tale of the tape
| JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure | Universe | Marvel |
|---|---|---|
| Superhuman | Tier | Superhuman |
| Hamon breathing, clacker balls and the ability to predict your next line | Strength | Charges anything he touches with explosive kinetic energy, especially playing cards |
| Will run away the moment a plan stops working, then come back with a better one | Weakness | Can’t resist a bet or a pretty smile |
| 1–1 | Record on Versus | 1–0 |
The Arena
Joseph Joestar walked out of a time slip onto a riverboat casino on the Mississippi, and the first thing he saw was a poker table. The second thing he saw was a man in a trench coat with red-on-black eyes, shuffling a deck of cards with one hand. “Bonsoir, mon ami,” said Gambit. “You look like a man who likes to gamble.”
Joseph sat down, grinning. “I look like a man who likes to win.” Gambit smiled and dealt the cards. They played three hands. Joseph cheated in every one: a hidden card, a mirror in his sleeve, a well-timed distraction. Gambit won all three anyway. Joseph frowned. “You’re cheating.” Gambit shrugged. “So are you, cher. I’m just better at it.”
Joseph stood up, clacker balls appearing in his hands. Gambit stood up too, and the deck in his hand began to glow pink.
Round One
Gambit flicked a glowing card, and it exploded against the table, sending poker chips everywhere. Joseph dodged, swinging his Hamon-charged clackers, and one struck Gambit’s staff with a crack of yellow energy. They fought across the casino floor, wrecking roulette wheels and slot machines.
Joseph was the better fighter, his Hamon making him faster and stronger than a normal man. Gambit was the better trickster, charging everything he touched with kinetic energy: chips, chairs, the edge of a table, a champagne glass. Everything in the room became a bomb in his hands.
Joseph pointed at him. “Your next line is, ‘You’re good, cher.’” Gambit smiled. “No, cher. Your next line is ‘Oh my God’.”
The Turn
Joseph opened his mouth to reply and found that the words that came out were, “Oh my God,” because the champagne glass he had just caught was glowing pink in his hand. He threw it aside, and it exploded against the wall. Gambit laughed. “You see? I read people too.”
Joseph was shocked. Nobody had ever predicted his next line before. He doubled down on tricks: a fake retreat, a hidden Hamon-charged string across the floor, a smoke bomb made from a cigarette. Gambit saw through every one, because Gambit had grown up in the Thieves Guild of New Orleans, where everyone cheats and the best cheater survives.
Then Gambit did something Joseph never expected. He charged the clacker balls in Joseph’s own hands.
The Finish
The clackers began to glow pink, and Joseph had perhaps half a second to realise what that meant. He threw them, and they exploded in mid-air, blowing him backwards across the casino floor and into a pile of overturned card tables. He lay in the wreckage, his ears ringing, staring up at the chandelier.
Gambit strolled over, shuffling his cards, and crouched beside him. “You’re a good cheat, mon ami,” he said. “But you cheat with your mind. I cheat with everything I touch.” Joseph groaned and sat up. “That was my favourite pair of clackers.” Gambit tossed him a card. “Consider it a souvenir.”
Joseph looked at the card. It was the joker. He started laughing so hard his ribs hurt. They played poker again that night, both cheating constantly, both winning and losing in turns, and by dawn neither of them could remember who was ahead. It was, Joseph decided, the most fun he had had in years.
The verdict
Gambit wins
Joseph is the better fighter and a master trickster who predicts his opponents’ words, but Gambit is a professional thief who reads Joseph just as well and can turn anything Joseph touches, including his own weapons, into a bomb.
- Kinetic chargingGambit turns Joseph’s clackers against him.
- Thieves Guild trainingGambit grew up where the best cheater survives.
- Reading peopleHe predicts Joseph’s tricks and even his next line.
How the rematch could go differently: A Joseph who used Hermit Purple, his later Stand, could read Gambit’s plans from a distance before the cards came out.
Who do you think wins?
Who would win in a fight between Joseph Joestar and Gambit?
Gambit wins. Joseph is the better fighter and a master trickster who predicts his opponents’ words, but Gambit is a professional thief who reads Joseph just as well and can turn anything Joseph touches, including his own weapons, into a bomb.